Do you know Sebastien Night of the blog SeductionByNight.com?

Sebastien Night is one of the most famous coaches in seduction of the French landscape and he recently contacted me in order to publish some articles on It flash!

As a presentation, one thus said oneself that an interview would be the best manner of introducing it and here thus the report of the carried out interview Monday evening by Skype. As it lasted more than one hour, I divided the whole into 2 parts, and what follows is thus the first part.

A last thing: do not hesitate to make us share in the comments of the fields of the personal development which you wish to see treated by Sebastien!!

Argancel: Can you present yourself quickly, in a few words (your area of origin, your studies, your age):

Sebastien Night: I am Sebastien Night. Currently I work as a coach in seduction and full with other things. I come from the Guadeloupe. It is there that I made all my youth until my baccalaureat. Then I left to make my studies. I went initially to Bordeaux where I made a Pr�pa class. I went to Nantes then to make studies at the central school, a school of engineer.

At the base my dream was to make data processing, since the college. I thus decided to follow this course. I had my diploma for the occupation of computer engineer. I worked for four months as a computer engineer. Then I realized that were not appropriate to me any more. It was an objective which I had for a long time, that I had reached, and it was more me, therefore it was time to make another thing.

Argancel: a kind of saturation of data processing?

Sebastien Night: It is not the data processing as such which posed a problem to me, but rather the fact of being in a company with people who did not have the same vision as me, for which data processing was an end in itself. Whereas for me was more to amuse to me and make useful things, c�d to connect people mainly.

On the plan of the values, a large service company, they is sympathetic but that does not continue a mission. Ca has the role of completing the most work for customers and of making the most possible money. It was not something which I saw on a long run like contribution to the world. Thus it is for that I left.

Argancel: How did you discover the community of the seduction? Is this by chance?

Sebastien Night: While I made my studies, I was somebody of still reserved enough. Since it is a feature which I had since very small. Even during the family celebrations, I was that which was not going to dance because I did not dare to dance. Thus I arrived at my studies while being always somebody of rather timid and of reserved enough. And then I fell completely by chance but thanks to data processing on a site which spoke about dredger, since the webmaster had come to raise a question because its forum functioned badly. And as I am a technical specialist on the question, I went him d�bugger his site and I realized that the subject even of the site, namely the dredger, could be rather funny with reading.

Thus I read a little, indeed I found that very funny, I perhaps said myself if that is it goes. Perhaps Ca is worth the blow to test. Thus I tested and that went. Thus I remained there. It is a little as that which I discovered the old community of seduction.

Argancel: Which are the first stages which you one permi to overcome your timidity and to start to take confidence in you?

Sebastien Night: I realized that when I spoke to people while being sympathetic, while smiling, I always withdrew a positive experiment from it. I.e. that stage by stage, with each time I spoke with an unknown person and that I arrived while being smiling and that I brought good mood, that was finished always well. Blow it became very easy for me to take the practice to do it. Since with each faith the environment of the conversation and the fact that I was glad to be arrived automatically rewarded me there to have overcome this timidity which I thought of having.

I think that the first problem of the majority of the shy persons is that they are regarded as shy persons. And that gives them an excuse not to dare to approach the unknown ones, not to dare to engage of new conversations or to test new things. What has me permi to overcome that, it is that did not bring large thing to me to be timid or to be contained, that was used to me for nothing. Thus to pass as much to another thing.

Argancel: to exorcize these bad feelings, this bad karma, and to pass to quelquechose of very positive?

Sebastien Night: Yes, even to pass to quelquechose of very positive by forgetting the existence of the apprehensions. I did not try to exorcize them or to overcome them, I just decided to put that on side and to forget it.

Argancel: At this time there, thanks to this community, you meetings of the people who will start to influence you, possibly to give you councils, to show themselves how they make? Is they people of the community or people who you meetings by chance?

Sebastien Night: One of my best friends, than I know for a very long time is him about at the same time as fallen as me on the sites from councils of dredger. Moreover I believe that does it of it is perhaps even my fault if it fell above, I had to give him a bond about the site which I had repaired. And makes him also remained above and one had not said oneself that one started to take the councils of dredger and to apply them. They are only a few months later that one started to communicate and that I saw that it had started to take lead.

What was a also starting factor and which enormously made me shit during weeks, it is when it sent a SMS to me the first time that it succeeded in packing a girl, to embrace it the first evening when it met it thanks to the councils on the Internet. It had sent a SMS for me to me narguer and that, that had too much made me shit. Thus I decided to return the currency of his coin to him while continuing to progress more quickly.

Argancel: Thus it is important to have always what is called a English wing, i.e. a person who supports?

Sebastien Night: An assistant is said. Yes it is important to have somebody even if it is not present. Because Urashimakun, it is in Paris and me I am in Nantes. Thus it was not physically present to accompany me and go to pick up girls. But as it was in the same step, one could be supported mutually. One could help oneself according to the experiments which one had had, to be given of the councils, etc

There is as the aspect as me when I was in Nantes there was nobody in my city which tested this kind of thing, which belonged to the community. Whereas today, in the big cities of France, there are groups which one calls of Lair, which did not exist before. Lair are regroupings of people who learn the dredger. There is also in the big cities of all the countries. Moreover I bet that there is also in Antananarivo?

Argancel: Ca was not formed yet, but there are communities which approach some. Moreover I have a band of buddies with which one tried to apply some methods of the book The Game.

Sebastien Night: Thus with when the creation of official Lair in Madagascar?

Argancel: In fact, I will announce it officially: the next month I leave to Mauritius, therefore it will be perhaps in Mauritius but there is of them perhaps already one over there

Thus you you animate Lair Atlantique, it is that?

Sebastien Night: Not, I left Lair Atlantique at the beginning of 2008, because me I had created this group indeed there so that people can help each other to learn how to allure. But now I am engaged in a vaster step since I created my company of coaching in seduction. Thus I have objectives which are definitely different and I rather chose to leave Lair Atlantique with the hands of anybody which were already there, that I formed at the time and to concentrate on my project of Seduction By Night.

Argancel: Then you voyages much also to improve you? I learned that you went to Ireland and can be in England?

Sebastien Night: Not, clearly when I travel is to amuse me. I do not travel to go to work or to study or anything, it is really to talk cock. I leave on holiday.

Argancel: I wanted to do it parallel with the character of Neil Strauss in the book The Game, which makes the turn of the United States to go to see the coaches in seduction. Thus it was to know if you had met other coaches while travelling.

Sebastien Night: In fact, the majority of the French-speaking coaches, I already met them, that is to say at the time of before one creates our restrictive companies, or then one on the occasion to discuss on the telephone or via Internet. I do not travel to meet them, it is not necessary, more especially as in France, as it is a very new market, like the companies come to be created, there is a certain frame of mind which is not inevitably that of which I am fan. And thus I do not move to go to meet them. I have other activities to realize.

Argancel: i.e. that there are competitions?

Sebastien Night: There is much this frame of mind there in France. There are many companies which are rival from/to each other. Me I am a little with share of that because they is also conflicts between people. As everyone knows itself, they have reasons to hate the ones the others. Me as I always was with share with a way of seeing the things very different, I do not return in the debates, the wars as I call them. But that does not exist indeed badly still in France.

Argancel: It is important that the detachment, for not that external influences undermine the moral one?

Sebastien Night: It is for that I do not look at the news on television.

Argancel: Indeed, you do not lose there inevitably

Sebastien Night: I do not consult the current events and I keep away to what is susceptible to bring a negative influence on my life or my frame of mind without for all this I have the capacity to change something there. I.e. that if it is said to me that there are children who die on anti-personnel mines, it is necessary to be invested, it is necessary to take part, they should be helped, there I can make quelquechose. But if one says to me just: there are children who die on antipersonnelles mines, it would be necessary to commemorate while coming to cry together, there I will say not that is used for nothing. Ca will not help them, that will not help me me. And in more that will divert me time that I need to use to help of people. Thus with final it is completely useless. It is for that really I keep away of what can bring the negative one without me to help to bring the positive one in my turn.

I can give another example. An association like Amnesty International. They help the journalists throughout the world who are imprisoned, tortured or who suffer from conditions which do not respect the human rights. Thus it is an association which has a very creditable goal, it is for that I am member and giver with Amnesty International. But when Amnesty International sends a book of 400 pages to me. A book with a black cover explaining at which point the situation is terrible in the world, with nothing to make of other that: read that and are depressed because the situation is really rotted in the world. Typically that I will not read it. You include/understand what I want to say?

Argancel: Yes completely: to deplore its fate is not an end in itself To return from there to your influences. Did you read many books, or you confined yourself with the Web. Can you quote us some influences which you had.

Sebastien Night: In which field? Personal development?

Argancel: Initially on the level of the seduction and in the second time on the level of the personal development

Sebastien Night: In fact it is extremely dependent since when me I began my search to discover how to allure, I realized that there were things to work in-depth which one does not find in the traditional books on the seduction.

In the books on the seduction, one will teach you how to approach a girl, to discuss with her or to take his number for example. But never how to have an interesting life, how to be somebody of remarkable, super-sociable etc And that in fact points are much more important than to know to take the phone number. Thus level reading, indeed I read not badly tricks on the seduction. I think that I belong to those which read more in the field. One is some in France, among those which make coaching, to have very read, one will say. I.e. all the anglosaxones sources, American.

Argancel: that becomes increasingly hard with all that leaves in this moment

Sebastien Night: Yes indeed, when I say all to read, it is to read all the material of people who are internationally known. Because now there is everyone which leaves in its turn the contents. Thus indeed one cannot follow everyone. But one will say that I keep up to date nevertheless, I read nevertheless when y' has other people in France who write or who leave quelquechose again.

I read not badly in this field there but what was most constructive, they is more the things than I read in the field of the personal development. These is things that I will read at Antony Robbins for example.

Argancel: Unlimited power for example?

Sebastien Night: Yes, unlimited Capacity, but I did not read it in entirety besides, because I had the audio cassettes of Antony Robbins in MP3. I had also 5 stages for the positive thought (I think that it is about that the title). I had all in English, then it is hard for me to translate the titles It was Five steps to positive thinking, Unlimited power also in audio. Bandler also made an audio excellent which is on the conversation and which is entitled quelquechose like How to have an enthralling conversation but in English. In fact all that, these is tricks that I listened to while I went in progress when I was student, or by making my jogging, or in the tram with a reader MP 3 qu ' one had offered to me especially for the occasion. Thus really in fact tricks as that built me, more than the books on the dredger.

For all that is dredger, I learned by reading the forums and the newsletters that through books.

Argancel: When one lily all these books, all these methods, how makes one to find ideas original which will leave the batch, to manage to create its method with oneself. Which is the step which you applied?

In fact, all that I read, I tested it to afterwards see what that gave. All the tricks which I read as regards dredger where one proposed sentences to be used, where one proposed things to be made such as it is, I always sought to see: is they serious or it is can. Often, it was can. There are things which one will find in the books whose author is proud of to have had the idea and where it concern little owing to the fact that functions or not, whether it is useful or not to teach it.

Thus there are many blah blah or theories, and the theory it is not that which helps to dredge. Thus at the end of a moment, by make approaches (I made of it more than one thousand the first year), I realized that there are tricks which I made systematically and who walked. And it is by taking notes on the whole of all that I did, of all that I tested, of what functioned, etc that I gathered that in a software of Mind Mapping, and that I started to organize my ideas and to structure the method PRINCE.

What I did, that arises from my experiment and the experiment of Urashimakun in particular, which tested full with thing, which was a little my guinea-pig with each time I had a new idea and that it was necessary an external glance for me to test too. To final that thus leaves our experiment, it does not have there a theory, assertions of the style: the women do this or the women do that which one said that would be well to put. There are no things which come from readings in sociology. However I read tricks of social psychology, where I learned full with interesting things, but I did not put that in my method because it is theory, that is used for nothing. It is not quelquechose which one will be able to use concretely to change. Thus it is not worthwhile to put it in the book. I think that if one day I make a book M�thode PRINCE, and that I make the method rough PRINCE such as I teach it, that would make already 100,120, 200 pages. But there is average to make the long version with all the theoretical bases of social psychology, etc And that would exceed the 500 pages easily.

Argancel: Of agreement thus you you stress the concrete one

Sebastien Night: Yes, frankly the important thing with a guy which come to see me, it is to have results with the girls, it is at all of knowing in the beginning why that was done. It is not the most interesting part nor most useful.

Argancel: Can you give us a brief apper�u your method PRINCE? A small first impression for those which would like to be initiated?

Sebastien Night: The method of seduction PRINCE, it is a complete method to allure the woman or the women that one wants. Thus already initially, it there with the Preparation part, it is the letter P of the method PRINCE. Ca really consists in putting in order in its head all that one for obtaining from the women. What one wants like relation, which one wants like type of woman, which one wants like love life. It is also a question of preparation in its lifestyle for really becoming somebody of interesting before seeking to interest anyone. Then there are all the stages until one finds in a relation with a woman and each stage correspond to one of the letters of the word PRINCE. Thus the acronym PRINCE, it is Pr�t, Remarquable, Int�ressant, Naturel, Conclure, and to know Entretenir the relation.

It is method that I have not yet written in the form of book, which is available only during my workshops of seduction, or during Project Night which has started Tuesday last and which is my program of coaching of July with December when I begin again people with which I will teach all that I learned as regards seduction, and will make coaching uninterrupted so that in December they are absolutely at the point.

Argancel: And thus you also left a DVD: will personality of the seducer, one be able to find the method PRINCE inside?

Sebastien Night: Not, the DVD Personnalit� of the seducer is really centered on the aspect: what it is necessary to have like feature of personality to be tempting and attracting with the eyes of the women. All that it is necessary to integrate like frame of mind, attitude, way of behaving, like way of expressing its passions to be really tempting. Thus that it is one of DVDs of the series S�duction By Night since it is a series of DVDs which is monthly. Personality of the seducer, it is the first, then there was Objective zero rake which is how to approach a girl, how to start the first minutes of the conversation, to be sure that occurs well, etc Ensuite there was the art of the flirt to learn how to manage a conversation, to make in kind be interesting, to make in kind touch the girls, to make them laugh to give them desire for discussing with us and to re-examine us. And there the DVD of this month, the n�4 leaves in 2 days and they is Faites-l� to vibrate, on the seduction on the telephone. I.e. that once with all these councils there one succeeded in taking the number of the girl, how to make so that when it is pointed out them, that occurs well, that one can fix an appointment, etc

Argancel: thus it is of DVDs which follows little by little the stages of the method PRINCE

Sebastien Night: Not necessarily, there will be a DVD, for example in September, which will relate to the seduction with an assistant. Finally there is not an obligatory order. We one left them because it is an order which is logical, an order of progression. But it is right a monthly DVD for better alluring.

Argancel: In your method, you stress the importance to build a good network of friends, because to be tempting is not always to be with a girl, they are also moments of loneliness

Sebastien Night: why would that be moments of loneliness?

Argancel: What I want to say it is that without network of friends, they are moments of loneliness, therefore one needs a good network of friends to arrive at positiver and to have fishing. How to meet people who will motivate us?

Sebastien Night: Ah, how to meet the friends of the famous circle of friends?

Argancel: It is that.

Sebastien Night: Already initially it is necessary to know what one wants like friends. I.e. that it is necessary to know with which type of anybody one feels at ease. Then once I know really what I seek like friends, the simple fact of leaving all the time, to speak with people, will put to me in situation to meet these people there, to cross people who like to make the same things as me since they leave in the same places as me. And in more if one really concentrates on the aspect: to propose exits, to propose sympathetic things to make, people quite naturally will follow. Thus the creation of the circle of friends will be done quite naturally.

Argancel: thus finally, there is also this concept to be an organizer, to organize demonstrations, to propose exits, to be a node in the middle of the network so that the people come naturally to oneself

Sebastien Night: Yes, to take again an expression which I like of Urashimakun: it is necessary to be the social engine. To be that which advances the things, which advances the others. It is necessary to be that which proposes and also, for example, if I see a friend who seeks job and which works in data processing, I also undoubtedly have other friends in my circle of friends who work in data processing and who could help it. To really be able to bring of the assistance to a person starting from the resources which I have in the remainder of my network.

Argancel: And with regard to the bad side of the things? I suppose that there must be from time to time certain jealousies, competitions, com�rages. How you propose to react to the moment when a bad environment is created?

Sebastien Night: Among is my friends there a conflict?

Argancel: Yes

Sebastien Night: So within my group of friends, there are a conflict, it is not with me to regulate the problem. Because all simpement they is adults too. It is with them to regulate their problems. If they do not want to speak each other, they do not want to speak each other, a point it is all. On the other hand, there is also a question of waiting which one must create at the others in term of respect. It should be shown with the others that the respect it is a thing which is essential and which should not be violated. And thus if you cannot see somebody in painting and that you know that it is invited at home and that you do not come to an invitation at home, I will not be upset, but it is also a lack of respect towards me, to say I do not come at home because there is such. If both come at home and are engueulent at home and rotted environment, that also it is a lack of respect compared to me.

Blow, owing to the fact that I am surrounded only of people who know that there is a certain respect to have the ones towards the others, this kind of situation indeed never arrives. People arrange themselves not to expose their problems on the public highway, or then quite simply not to cross, or not to speak about a subject which annoys. Really, I do not interfere into the conflicts of the others because it is not useful, and because I know that my friends will have enough maturity to forget.

Argancel: And if they do not have any, they are not friendly truths?

Sebastien Night: Not, they can not have some, but in this case, I will point out to them, indeed.

- End of the 1st part

In the second part, we spoke about self-confidence, organization and the way in which Sebastien manages his company.

While waiting, here some bonds to discover the method of seduction of Sebastien Night:

• The blog of Seduction by Night:
  http://www.seductionbynight.com/
• The blog of the personal development of the community of seduction:
  http://www.toutchange.fr/epanouissement
• The blog of the Night project, a new program of coaching which has just started:
  http://blog.projet-night.com/
• DVDs to learn how to allure:
  http://www.apprendre-a-seduire.com/a-sbn/

Tags: coaching, self-confidence, Personal Development, maintenance, interview, to lair, Sebastien night, seduction, timidity, Urashimakun

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